Friday, February 27, 2009

The Bedford New Zealand Rally 2009...

You just might see many weird and wonderful old Bedfords at
the numerous Bedford rallies happening throughout New Zealand this year...
The main North Island rally will be held at Ambury Park in South Auckland
at Labour Weekend in October.
For further information, email
Posted by Picasa

Saturday, February 21, 2009

The Flying Tortoise and Earthrace in Whangarei on the same day...

Thousands of visitors and locals queued in the sunshine today for tours of the World's slowest airbus and the fastest boat to ever circle the globe...
Whangarei turned on a spectacular day and as we go to press, 11,932 people had toured the spacious Flying Tortoise Wide Bodied Harebus and only 14 people were able to squeeze onboard the very cramped but never the less impressive Earthrace...
And yes... a race is on the cards... place your bets... The Flying Tortoise leaves tomorrow for Auckland and Earthrace will compete in the race to Auckland but is going fishing for a few days enroute...
Sound familiar?

Check out
Posted by Picasa

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Friday, February 13, 2009

NZ Government Official attempts to murder Ant...

In one of the many attempts by NZ bureaucracy today to deal with the Ant invasion,
a Government agent makes a futile attempt to snuff out the life of
one of the estimated 31 billion ants recently
arrived from Antartica. (see previous story)
When shown this disturbing photo of an ants' near death experience,
the country's Presidant was visibly shocked and distraught.
My God, he said that is my cousin Anthony...
please don't show me any more.
He has a wife and a young family still here
and they will have to fend for themselves!

When told that the authorities here were considering using chemical warfare such as Raid and Black Flag on his countrymen and women, the Presidant visibly shook and for the first time in the history of Antartica, turned into the first white Presidant!

We wait now for what is sure to be international condemnation of New Zealand
as governments of the world begin to meet in emergency sessions.
Posted by Picasa

Antarticans invade New Zealand...

31 billion new immigrants arrive in NZ!

The largest ever influx of skilled migrants has secretly arrived in New Zealand over the last few weeks this intrepid journalist has discovered...
Believed to be at least 31 billion skilled Ants have arrived in God's Own in specially chartered Boeing aircraft from their homeland Antartica.

Immigration officials are frantically tying to find accomodation and jobs for the new arrivals but they seem skilled at finding their own.
Very few of the new arrivals have work permits or even visitors visas and neighbourhoods are fearful they will join the already increasing numbers of street workers.
City councils are busy as we speak drafting new bylaws to prevent them working in close proximity to play centres and churches.

The new National government, not yet through it's first crucial 100 days is thought to be having secret talks with it's old nemisis and ex Minister of Foreign Affairs, You Know Who.

The NZ government has imposed a complete ban on publishing photos of Antarticans because they don't want to have to see them interviewed on the media or appearing on Youtube... however watch this space... we intend to be first with candid interviews and compromising videos.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Strange said Sauntering Snail...

as we made our way back from the beach.
"just how many of the folk in their white plastic wheelie bins
put up their TV antennas as soon as they get anywhere
so they can watch what something that's happening somewhere else.
And tomorrow they will go to another place without
seeing the beauty of where they've been!"
"We live in very strange times Snail," said Tortoise.
Posted by Picasa

Worlds Oldest Footprint Authenticated...

First found by holiday makers at a remote Northland New Zealand beach
earlier this year, it has been confirmed by one of the world's most eminent palaeoethnologists
that it's size and unique shape represents characteristics that make it almost as old as Adam,
says Dr Sigmund Ripley of the famous Believe it Or Not family.
I am convinced that this footprint belonged to Adam's younger twin brother Brian.

Carbon and Speed dating tests completed at the prestigious Bagdad Institute in Iraq
confirm the footprint is very very old. Probably even older.

No sighting of the left footprint has yet been made even though an international
team of experts are even now combing the area.
This is exciting and expectable too says Ripley and further supports my contention
that this is Brian's because he had only one foot! And Ripley screams excitedly, this is the
right one, not the wrong one. Brian did not have a left foot!

This is the most important discovery of all time, well of this month certainly,
says Dr Ripley and will prove once and for all that New Zealand was in fact
the Biblical Garden of Eden!
Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Tortoise Thinks...

If God wanted us to be naked,
we would have been born that way!

Uretiti is probably New Zealand's best known Naturist beach.
Enter at the southern most beach access from the DOC campground and when
you hit the beach, take a step to the right and let them drop!
It's a great life!
Posted by Picasa

Monday, February 9, 2009

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

You probably read the Alchemist many years ago... the wonderful story of a little shepherd boy whose adventures enable him to do what is the most important thing in the world for each of us... fulfilling our own personal destiny.
Hare on The Flying Tortoise there is a Paulo Coelho book fest going on... Do read The Zahir, please, a truely remarkable book. Eleven Minutes and The Devil and Miss Flym are just a couple more compelling books from this stunning author...
Posted by Picasa

Uretiti Beach on a ho hum day

The Farting Turtle, The Flying Tortoises favourite cousin has come to stay and show off his skills
at Bodyboarding or if you like,
Boogieboarding so it's become a bit of an obsession hare of late...
But only morning noon and night so there is still plenty of time to enjoy the finer things of life
such as good food, the glorious sunshine. hot, hot days and...
Posted by Picasa

Friday, February 6, 2009

The Adventures of The Flying Tortoise...

Normally The Flying Tortoise is somewhere but only sometimes... and for a few days about now is at Uretiti... a favourite resting spot just off SH1 between Waipu to the south and Whangarei to the north of New Zealands North Island... It is a DOC (Department of Conservation) camp ground and at this time of the year is crowded. A fabulous nudist beach, safe swimming and surfing makes this Tortoise very happy.

If you can dream it, you can do it...

Fly me to the Moon and let me stay well clear of cars...
Let me see what life is like in Wanaka and Thames crooned Tortoise,
knowing that the last place should have rhymed with Mars...
but no matter...a little thing like that was not going to ruin the day...

Tortoise was so excited with the prospect of learning to fly
and phoned the 'How to Fly in 3 Easy Lessons' company
and booked a gorgeous instructor to help make learning
so much more pleasurable.
Tortoise turned out to be a wonderful student
and mastered Flying 101 within minutes.

After two lessons, Miss Jones, the beautiful blonde instructor
presented Tortoise with a pair of wonderful silver wings,
said that Tortoise was ready to fly solo or could soar even higher
a beautiful double act should the occasion arise.
And what about dinner tonight...

Tortoise was over the moon!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Tortoise dreams of flying...

Come fly with me.
Let's fly.
Let's fly away...
sang Old Blue Eyes as Tortoise listened to breakfast radio one day...
That's a great idea Tortoise thought.
After all, my friend Cow jumped over the moon,
Owl and Pussy Cat went to sea in a pea green boat,
Mouse ran up the clock, Lamb follows that bloody Mary around all day,
Wolf blows down houses for the hell of it,
Mr Ed got famous with his public speaking and has his late night talk show,
Hare's looking for another race.
I've heard of pigs flying so why not me!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

In the beginning...

The Flying Tortoise was a 1977 KD Bedford bus built in New Zealand by the well respected Hawke Coach Builders in Papakura. Originally owned by Forest Products, it was used in the Tokaroa and Kinleith forestry areas.

A few owners later and with only 57,000 k's on the clock, Keith Levy, whoever he is, bought the bus in August 07 and set about creating more than just a permanent home on wheels.

Long inspired and having lived by the philosophies of Henry David Thoreau, Zen and the Japanese Wabi-Sabi, The Flying Tortoise was always going to be different.

By October 2007 it was a simple and cosy home with a style combining Scandinavian and Japanese design. Scandenese design perhaps... A small solid fuel fireplace warms the 5.3m x 2.35m, 12.5sq metre (17.6ft x 7.6ft, 131sq ft) home in a few minutes and is also a delight to cook on. Comfortable chairs and table are to relax, work or eat at. A unique PVC shower for use inside, with it's own floor is designed to fold-up and disappear when not required. There's another unique inside/outside shower attached to the main door which gives privacy and is naturally draining. The Flying Tortoise's interior feels spacious and inviting. A specially designed aluminium and black PVC bathtub for two can be used inside by the fire or outside under the stars. Hot water comes from a large specially designed and made 5mm thick aluminium unit that sits on the top of the fireplace. Just turn the tap for constant hot water. A portable toilet slides and stores under the bed and is easily accessible. Cooking is mostly performed on a single highly efficient gas burner. A Tajine is often used as well as a cast iron camp oven for roasting or baking. Flat bread happens either on the fireplace top or on a frying pan. A top-loading amazingly efficient Engel fridge/freezer runs 24 hours a day using a maximum 2.5amp hours.
Two 125watt BP Solar panels are fitted to the roof and supply the energy for the two 12v, 255amp hour AGM storage batteries. An additional 85watt BP 'tracking panel' is used sometimes during winter.
A wetback water heating system was considered but the fireplace is too efficient for the amount of water that's carried on board.
Flowers and vegetables grow on the back deck and a double ocean kayak sits ready for launching from the roof.
Aluminium in the style of the famous Airstreams, she turns heads and minds.

The whimsical logo for The Flying Tortoise was designed by the wonderful and talented Michael Mchalick of Wellington, New Zealand.

The Flying Tortoise uses Solar energy from the Sun to power its lights and appliances.
The same electricity is used to transmit this Blog to you.
It contains very high levels of Vitamin D.
If you notice any changes to your health and well being as a result of being exposed to this blog, you should consult a medical practitioner or even a doctor.